Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
