i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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