that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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