hotel room ftw
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
