that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
