so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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