Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sext me about skeletons
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize