Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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