just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Randomize