the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
