So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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