Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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