It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
