We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
