I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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