Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I show you my penis last night?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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