I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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