I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
