two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize