Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
