People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
