Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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