We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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