the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
