it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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