i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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