Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
