If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
