i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
