if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
wow bdsm is so cute
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize