you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize