I CAN MOONWALK!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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