Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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