i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
