I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
