He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
