i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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