My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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