he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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