My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
