Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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