I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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