I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
