so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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