You made me cry and you don't even care
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
