I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
