i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
