rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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