She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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