I want to have your abortion
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
