Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
pray to the hookup gods
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
