I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
