Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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