Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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