yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
