Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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