People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
