I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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