The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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