he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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