dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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