I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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