Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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