To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
