I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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