there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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