I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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