kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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