: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
