the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
