He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
