Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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