What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
