The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
